Darthleon's Small Subjects 3

Sonic Boom animated dropped article

Yes, Sonic Boom again. It's not often that two words fuck up so many plans. During my Sonic Battle LP I mentioned that I wanted to do more stuff with Sonic , and one of them was already being planned and to go to another channel. That was going to be a review sorta thingy of each episode of Sonic Boom. Guess what. I hated the series. I was hoping it would be fun and cool but no. And then I wanted to do an article about it instead of the MH one , but it took an angry turn. Basicly I was going to say that while it got some amazing jokes every now and then and I love the new Amy and her dress, the stupid Knuckles and stupider plots killed my interest. Seriously , Eggman living with Sonic is a horrible idea and I am pretty sure at least 10 fanfiction writers did a better job with it, maybe even without sex. But my biggest complain came from how they animated this shit, and for that we need another paragraph so...

The poor animation of Sonic Boom

What is the one thing Sonic is known for? His speed. The previous animated series , bad or good, made that clear. Zooming,dodging and spinning , even breaking the sound barrier on the first episode of Sonic X . In Boom speed is an undertone and the reason is the animation style. 3D animation comes with the need to be accurate about movement.  That makes the spin  and run feel... akward. There is this strange detail that makes things feel fast and slow at the same time. That is an inherit problem with the animation style in my opinion. That is why anime feels so good in 2d. The one show that actually got speed in 3d is the newest TMNT series. And that show cheats a bit every now and then too, having nicely hidden 2d in their sequences of action . The way they do it is by having simple movements during action scenes making that speed come across less clunky. A sword moving fast is a sword moving fast, whether it is 2d, 3d or live action. Moving throught the air while spinning and attacking a huge robot ? Eh, not so much.

The evilest of plans( part 2)

  I know that when I snap and become a crazed murderer I know my exact  modus operandi. My victims are going to be exclusivelly old ladies. Not the frail ones, the ones that get tired just by getting of their chair. Those ladies are so sweet and nice and always call me handsome for some reason. No, the ones that will get it are those that think are so important just by living longer than I have. You know the ones. Those monsters that they think they deserve to go ahead of you on queues , or that I should at all times know who is standing in public transportations. JUST FUCKING ASK FOR THE SEAT INSTEAD OF PRESENTING YOUR ESSAY ON WHY YOU HATE YOUTH. As you probably guessed I will find those ladies on busses and subways. And my method of killing them  will be something that I wanted to do for ever: I will kick them of the busses or subways Leonidas style. I can see the newspapers already. "Eldery Kicker Still At Large" . Ladies that fuck up queues shall be sent at the end of the line, again with a swift kick.

Kanye Quest

So Kanye West  is making a video game. Good. What? Did you expect me to shit all over the project? Nope. For starters , I am on the camp that believes that the only thing Kanye has done wrong in his life is naming his daughter North. Sure he is a bit of an asshole, but he is a rapper.  Bit of an asshole comes with the job. Secondly the  game is about his deceased mother going to heaven. Even if it turns out shit, the reason is noble enough to get at  least a "you tried" star. He does it for the sake of his mother and himself, while trying a new form of artistic expression. Better than some companies that release their games unfinished games or put a million microtrasactions. Good luck Kanye. Hope the game turns out well.

Monster Hunter Gush Over Article

In an effort to make a stupid and lighthearted article I decided to write about Monster Hunter. This comes at a time when Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate is very close so I guess you could say I am being relevant, as if that was ever important for me. Truth be told I wanted to have a weekly article series here called Monster Hunter Mondays but I decided against it because I am too lazy and I also can't afford MH4U cause I bought a new PC.  So instead we are doing this.

Full disclosure since I leave in Greece and I am the only greek that plays MH ( probably not but it feels that way) I am a solo hunter , and MH4U will be my first time playing with other people but I still love MH. However many people do not see the appeal of it, leaving the game before even ranking up once. Why? Because the begining is too boring. It's true. MH, like Regigigas , has a slow start. Before hunting all the cool monsters from the trailer it expects you  to pick up herbs, eggs and fish, and fight  small Jagis and Jagia and you eventually graduate to stuff like the Rathians and the Lagiacruses ( Lagiacri ? ) . That might sound logical but it takes a ton of time. Imagine if you were playing Pokemon but for the first 3 hours you were only allowed to fight Ratattas , or if you had to mine tons of stone in Minecraft before finding diamonds( ...wait) . But when you reach the start point it's just boss fights: Deadly pufferfish, dragons and rock dinosaurs with exploding punches one after the other. And the things you were forced to collect  are now  necessary potions , money and bullets( yes fish are used in bullets I'm dead serious). That's Monster Hunter.

Some people have also been turned off by the dificulty of the game. To those cowards I would like to like to say this: Man up or go play Cooking Mama! ( Unless you are female so in which  case: Woman up or go play Mario's Cement Factory). There are two big rules in Monster Hunter. Rule 1: Never leave unprepared. A good hunter is will fight the Qurupeco the the quest says, but a GREAT hunter is prepared to get rid , or even kill , the even stronger Rathian . That very same hunter is also prepared to capture, because the  hunt may go for too long, and of course has about 10 different variations of their main weapon. Rule 2:  Be ready to give up. Giving up is not the same as failing. When you fail , you lose your crap. When you give up you keep your crap . And of course you now have very valuable information on what the heck you are fighting. Of course you may have trouble. Zinogre is fucking fast, Rathalos is crazy when he is angry and Gobul, oh my God Gobul...that smile...that light...those spikes.... NO DON'T PARALYZE ME! I AM SORRY I DID'T MEAN TO HIT YOU! NOOOOOO. Ahem. Sorry , this happens sometimes. Traumatic flashbacks aside, that is where inexperienced hunters fail. They are either unprepared to hunt properly and to stuborn to go home.

"But Darthleon", I hear some of you say" I already like Monster Hunter. I know that shit." Well fellow hunter  , then you also know how satisfying hunting is. So for the rest of this article I am just going to write experiences I had with Monster Hunter. Ready? Go.  Once I was asked to hunt the most basic of monsters, Popos, and I am like sure whatever. But , half way through the hunt a Tigrex , a monster way out of my league, comes  and starts eating the Popos and attacking me. True horror. Another time I had to kill this sand shark, and before the hunt I was told  that those creatures hate loud sound and they make them surface. Conviniently, there were some sonic bombs in a box at the camp. I equip them and in an amazing display of skill I get the monster on my first try. It came out... and it was FUCKING PISSED.  It was like someone played a prank on me.  On a diferent mission I was to hunt a Duramboros, a sturdy motherfucker. Five minutes before time-up my paintball runs out and the monster limbs away(for non-hunters this means the monster is ready for capture, something that requires more preparation and care but at the same time  give more rewards)  and then burrows to get away. So I am running like a mad man around looking  for it and find it sleeping. So I set a trap next to it and it just gets caught . No celebration, no waking up,just quest  clear. Another hunt went the exact opposite way. I go to hunt a Rathalos on my Rank and on the first hit I make the damage calculator bugs up and the Rathalos straight up dies. Blam , on the ground , ready for carving.  And for my last story, some else's misfortune. At a place where they sell videogames Metax and I found a WiiU with the MH3U demo. Another guy was ahead of us, and in his infinite wisdom desided to go for the hard hunt, which was a Plesioth. A Plesioth basicly is a shark with thelgs that shoots water lasers , and is one of the hardest monsters in the game for one  reason:  Geometry.  Such a complicated monster is apparently too much for Capcom, because Plesioth's hitbox is always fucked up. Good luck avoiding this shit as a semi-experienced hunter, let alone a noob. Poor sod was falling left and right, getting more and more frustrated. But the moment I loved the most was when Plesioth used the  aformentioned water laser. His face dropped and he just left.

Well enough  fanboyism for one article, don't you think? Let's just all be thankful for Monster Hunter 4U and let the Monsters of the earth and air fear us. Not those of the water thought. There is no underwater hunting in 4U.